Did you know that Sigmund Freud admitted that he could never understand women? So you as a layman had better leave it alone or it can drive you stark raving mad. The reason I have a complete understand of women is that I've spent a life time chasing after and even marrying a few; now here I set in my "Golden Years" stark raving mad, or close to it.
Some of you are probably wondering just what makes this 70 year old think he understands women; let me flash my credentials; for starters my Mom and Dad divorced when I was five, yes indeed a rarity in the 40s, when I was 11 my dad re-marries she was a cocktail waitress with 3 teenage daughters, it had to be the free drinks;.There I was 11 years old with three teenage step sisters, 12, 14, and 16, the terrible teens; let me tell you something, what Cinderella went threw was a freaking cake walk compared to what those three witches put me threw.
The worst part, my Dad rented a house with one bathroom, can you believe it, four women and only one toilet.
In six years I cant remember having a peaceful bowel movement, soon as I would set down with a good comic book there would be a banging on the door," what are you doing in there you little pervert, playing with yourself again; I'll spare you my childhood miseries and get on to the good part.
Women cry, "all you men want are our bodies we are nothing but sex objects" hey I'm the first to admit it when women get it right, and I have to admit they hit that one right on the head. Ladies when you figure out something better to catch us with let me know, even at my age Ill stand in line to try it; in the meantime just keep working with what works for you, after all its been working pretty good for a few million years, and must admit you've got it down to an art.
Okay so your sex objects, who´s fault is it? You run around in pants so tight you can count pubic hairs, mini skirts so short your fannies are hanging out, see threw blouses with ten pounds of silicon that you now call your teats, tummy tucks, face lifts, and now silicon for your sagging ass; women spend over twelve billion on cosmetics, then off they go to the beach with their new bodies and makeup wearing bikinis so tiny they have to shave their pubic hair; they do everything they can to get men's hormones rushing, then after they go threw all this to get us hot and bothered, its the old line, "all you want is my body", you animal.
Now don't you ladies get all bent out of shape, I'm well aware you have much more to offer than just sex, some of you can clean house, change diapers, bring you a beer during football games, and a few of you can even cook, without using a microwave.
Gentleman let me share something with you, if you ever want to get rid of a woman fast ask her these four magic questions;
1. do you enjoy cleaning house, 2. do you enjoy cooking and cleaning your kitchen, 3. do you enjoy scrubbing floors including the bathroom on your hand and knees, 4. and last but most important, do you beleive thats mans pleasure is your most important responsibility, let me warn you if she answeres yes to all these questions, get moving fast she is 1. a big liar, or 2. out of her freaking mind, and should be commited.
Now for womens best keep secret, forgive me ladies but I cant keep this to myself any longer;
Women dont go threw all this BS only to attract men, they do it to show other women they can attract men, especially other womens men. DC duwayne@partiallyretarded.com
