This article is not directed to those over sixty, its also for those under sixty, to get an idea of just what nature has in store; like it or not your day is coming.
It starts when you hit forty or so, you start to get a few grey hairs, women go berserk, I cant understand this, women will dye their hair every color imaginable, one grey hair pops up and their bonkers; for men its worse, your hair starts to fall out, pretty soon much to your disbelief someone calls you baldy.
All of a sudden your in need of reading glasses, just for reading of course; those dam newspapers are using smaller type to save a few lousy bucks, next step is bifocals, they only take about 6 months to adjust to, but must admit there better than hauling around a magnifying glass.
Your teeth are in constant need of repair, the little receptionist at your dental clinic will remind you that you must come back every 3 months for your cleaning and check up, the last time she said that, I replied, "no problem, I'll send them to you".
You start hitting the book stores hunting for the latest book on anti aging herbs and other treatments to regain your youth, and as is the case of many men, to regain that rock hard erection, many just give up and opt. out for viagra, or worse a penal implant.
You start visiting your doctor with the new pain for the month, usually the back, or every joint in your body, he just sits there staring out the window at his new Mercedes, tells you, no smoking, no drinking, no candy, no salt, no red meat, then gives you a prescription of the latest drug he´s pushing at $100 per month.
I gave up drinking over 7 years ago, not that I really wanted to, but when a hangover last 4 days its time to rethink your drinking habit; for me the decision was made easier by my own stupidity; I love big band music, when I heard the "Big Bad Voodoo Daddies where coming to town it was a must go; The drinks where flowing, the music hot, I'm drinking and dancing all night, I mean I was ripping it up, Fred Astaire would have been proud of me; the next morning my whole body felt like it had been ripped up, my head was going to blow at any moment, then the shocker, I felt somebody next to me in bed, I rolled over and there she was, the ugliest woman ever put on the planet, worse, we're in my apartment, I'm terror struck, how am I going to get this monster from the blue lagoon out of my apartment without anyone seeing her, fortunately I slipped her out, told the doorman she was my new cleaning lady, I get her outside and she asks me if I was serious when I said I was interested in finding a new bride, that did it, after vomiting in the rose bushes, I went back to my place with a firm resolution to never drink again
All of a sudden your in your "Golden Years" Golden years my ass, who started that nonsense? I can assure you there is nothing golden about these years, no hair no teeth, at least not your own, a new pain a day especially in the winter, then some fool Doctor will tell you to grow old gracefully, think I'll start doing a little weed. DC duwayne@partiallyretarded.com
